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    I heard a great joke about amnesia, but I forgot it

    sinister_midget
    sinister_midget
    Admin

    Posts : 3675
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 66
    Location : Home

    I heard a great joke about amnesia, but I forgot it Empty I heard a great joke about amnesia, but I forgot it

    Post  sinister_midget on Sat Dec 22, 2018 10:04 am

    A guy brought his buddy home at 6:30 unannounced.

    His wife screamed at him, "My hair and makeup are a mess, the house is filthy, the dishes are all over the sink, I'm still in my pajamas and I'm in no condition to do any cooking! What did you bring him home for?"

    "Because he's thinking of getting married....."

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    I heard a great joke about amnesia, but I forgot it Never-have-kids

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    As I lay on the couch, talking about my childhood and sobbing, I said, "Do you think I'm crazy?"

    "Yes," replied the Ethan Allen sales assistant.

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    I heard a great joke about amnesia, but I forgot it Cia

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    My cousin posted on Facebook, "I'm expecting twins!"

    So I commented, "Finally, 2 kids from the same man"

    She blocked me.

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    I haven't heard this Beefles song in a long time!

    I heard a great joke about amnesia, but I forgot it Beefles

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    Sometimes I like to go to the hardware store and run around with a screwdriver shouting, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a drill!"

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    I think I found my soulmate!

    I heard a great joke about amnesia, but I forgot it Soulmate

    If I move to Vancouver.

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    Some are nice. But some are naughty!

    I heard a great joke about amnesia, but I forgot it Cole-in-stockings

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    What did socialists use before candles?

    Electricity.

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    I heard a great joke about amnesia, but I forgot it Evolve

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    I'm still waiting patiently for the wisdom that supposedly comes with old age.

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    Whatever it takes.

    I heard a great joke about amnesia, but I forgot it Border-wall

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    I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday.

    Ungrateful little &%!^ just sat in his wheelchair and cried!

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    I was never the Fleetwood type until I tried my hand at plumbing.

    I heard a great joke about amnesia, but I forgot it Rock-bands

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    Don't ever let anyone tell you fairy tales aren't real!

    I wake up every morning and drink a potion made from magic beans that brings me back to life.

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    My wife caught me eyeing this gorgeous blonde today. But quick thinking saved me from disaster.

    "Don't worry, honey," I said. "She's way outta my league!"

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    Mother husky ran out of ink while giving birth.

    I heard a great joke about amnesia, but I forgot it Husky

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    I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of lettuce, a two pound can of coffee and a one pound package of bacon

    As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunken homeless-looking woman standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

    I was a startled by this proclamation, but also intrigued by the derelict's intuition since I really never had found the woman of my dreams.

    I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

    Curiosity getting the better of me, so I said, "Yes you're correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
     
    The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly.”

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    I never cared much for Bon Jovi. But it looks as though I should have at least paid more attention to their lyrics.

    I heard a great joke about amnesia, but I forgot it Lizard-on-a-chair

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    I was sitting in a bar last night talking up this blonde. We were really hitting it off.

    After talking to her awhile, I suggested we go somewhere else, maybe grab a bite to eat, walk and talk, see where things went. She was agreeable.

    I raised my glass and said, "OK then. Bottoms up!"

    She replied, "Sure. But if you don't mind I think I'd rather finish my drink first."

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    I heard a great joke about amnesia, but I forgot it Flasher

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    Some days I eat salads and go to the gym. Other days I chase 3 pounds of bacon with a couple of dozen beers and refuse to put my pants on.

    It's called balance.

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    Don't forget to rotate!

    I heard a great joke about amnesia, but I forgot it Good-year

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    People sure do act weird at Christmastime.

    What other time of the year do people sit in front of a dead tree in the living room and eat candy out of their socks?

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    A teacher asks the class to use the word "beautiful" twice in a sentence.

    1st girl: My mother bought a beautiful pair of shoes to match her beautiful new dress.

    2nd girl: My mother bought a beautiful set of curtains to match our beautiful new carpet.

    Tony: My big sister came home and said she's pregnant. My father said, "Beautiful, that's just beautiful!"

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    Oh, so that's what that means!

    I heard a great joke about amnesia, but I forgot it Tolerate

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    Do you know the correct term for vegan, gluten-free, sugarless brownies?

    Compost.

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    Sending my prayers to all of the victims in Portland, Oregon.

    Nothing happened. It just sucks that you have to live there.

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    I knew I forgot to do something last night.

    I heard a great joke about amnesia, but I forgot it Snow-filled

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    I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them.

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    Almost like the expiration dates on lactose-free milk.

    I heard a great joke about amnesia, but I forgot it King-s-milk

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    I just had an epiphany.

    This time next year it will be almost Christmas!


    _________________
    We'll never have to worry about China attacking us. They're 12 hours ahead, so we'll have plenty of time to shoot down their missiles.
    -- Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
    Psycho144
    Psycho144

    Posts : 943
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 79

    I heard a great joke about amnesia, but I forgot it Empty Re: I heard a great joke about amnesia, but I forgot it

    Post  Psycho144 on Sat Dec 22, 2018 5:42 pm

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy cheers

      Current date/time is Mon Jan 27, 2020 6:28 am