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    The dinner my wife was cooking was supposed to be a surprise, but the firetrucks ruined it

    sinister_midget
    sinister_midget
    Admin

    Posts : 3675
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 66
    Location : Home

    The dinner my wife was cooking was supposed to be a surprise, but the firetrucks ruined it Empty The dinner my wife was cooking was supposed to be a surprise, but the firetrucks ruined it

    Post  sinister_midget on Tue Dec 04, 2018 5:30 pm

    I hate when people ask me, "Are you ticklish?"

    It doesn't matter whether you say yes or no, they're going to touch you.

    If you don't want people to touch you to see if you're ticklish, you have to say something like, "I have diarrhea. Now don't touch me because you'll make it come out."

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    The dinner my wife was cooking was supposed to be a surprise, but the firetrucks ruined it Romaine

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    If you take the word "milk" and change only four letters you get "beer."

    How amazing is that??!?

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    Whew! At least now we know there IS an end!

    The dinner my wife was cooking was supposed to be a surprise, but the firetrucks ruined it President-barron-trump

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    I think it's really awesome that Bruce Lee studied philosophy and poetry, then applied it to something beautiful, Like punching people in the face.

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    Global warming is real!

    The dinner my wife was cooking was supposed to be a surprise, but the firetrucks ruined it Ice-age

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    If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck...

    ...You're drunk! Ducks don't talk!

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    Is there no end to their cruelty?

    The dinner my wife was cooking was supposed to be a surprise, but the firetrucks ruined it Polar-bear-cookies

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    For you practical jokers out there.

    Not that I know any personally.....

    The dinner my wife was cooking was supposed to be a surprise, but the firetrucks ruined it Whoopee-cushion

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    My wife asked for a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner.

    I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm for her.

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    The dinner my wife was cooking was supposed to be a surprise, but the firetrucks ruined it Sons-of-arthritis

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    If there was a pill for procrastination I'd probably consider taking one someday.

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    When it's so cold outside the ghost trying to haunt you freezes to death

    The dinner my wife was cooking was supposed to be a surprise, but the firetrucks ruined it Ghost-freezes

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    Two Irishmen walk out of a bar.

    Hey, don't laugh! It could happen!

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    The Democrats fear a possible looming government shutdown.

    The dinner my wife was cooking was supposed to be a surprise, but the firetrucks ruined it Government-shutdown

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    Every time I lose some weight, I find it again in the refrigerator.

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    .....and the award for the best Hillary impression goes to.....

    The dinner my wife was cooking was supposed to be a surprise, but the firetrucks ruined it Hillary-impression

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    Just teasin'!

    Or was I.....?

    The dinner my wife was cooking was supposed to be a surprise, but the firetrucks ruined it Smirk

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    Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.

    All the other genders that you make up are from Uranus.

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    Love at first sight.

    The dinner my wife was cooking was supposed to be a surprise, but the firetrucks ruined it Love-at-first-sight

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    I went to a clothing store. There I met this woman who worked there. She was amazing!

    She showed me to the dressing room and said, "If you need anything, I'm Jill."

    I thought, "This is awesome! I never met a conditional woman before? What if I don't need anything? 'If you don't need anything, I'm Kevin.'"

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    The dinner my wife was cooking was supposed to be a surprise, but the firetrucks ruined it Reindeer-tweets

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    Regionalisms...

    The dinner my wife was cooking was supposed to be a surprise, but the firetrucks ruined it Came-from-afar


    _________________
    We'll never have to worry about China attacking us. They're 12 hours ahead, so we'll have plenty of time to shoot down their missiles.
    -- Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
    Psycho144
    Psycho144

    Posts : 943
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 79

    The dinner my wife was cooking was supposed to be a surprise, but the firetrucks ruined it Empty Re: The dinner my wife was cooking was supposed to be a surprise, but the firetrucks ruined it

    Post  Psycho144 on Tue Dec 04, 2018 6:08 pm

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy cheers cheers

      Current date/time is Mon Jan 27, 2020 7:11 am