Lord, it's 2018!
I just saw an ad on TV that featured a white, heterosexual, married couple in it!
Can you believe that??
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If we're ever in a situation where I'm the voice of reason, then we're in a very, very bad situation!
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They're always in agreement.
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I have one childhood memory I especially like. It was of falling asleep on the counch and waking up in bed.
I really miss teleporting! It never happens to me any more.
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Why women live longer than men.....
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I went to the doctor today. He told me I was paranoid.
Well, he didn't actually say that in so many words. But I knew that's what he was thinking.
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Couldn't get Fred McMurray.
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I wonder. Do aliens lock their doors when they ride past earth?
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When we were kids, my brother shouted, "Last one to jump in the pool is gay!" Then he jumped in.
I figured, if I never jumped in, he would be the last one in the pool.
He's still gay to this day.
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Some days the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands!
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House goes liberal. Acosta the Accoster gets banned from the White House.
But the world moves on!
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When it comes to influencing elections, the Russians could learn a lot from the Democrats.
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The only person who ever wanted me for who I am is the police.
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If you lose one sense, the other senses are enhanced.
Which is why people with no sense of humor have a heightened sense of self-importance.
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I hate when I run on the treadmill for a half hour and look down to see it's been 4 minutes.
----------
Satan worshipers crack me up!
Why would you worship a deity that literally lost a fiddle contest to some random hillbilly in Georgia?
I just saw an ad on TV that featured a white, heterosexual, married couple in it!
Can you believe that??
----------
If we're ever in a situation where I'm the voice of reason, then we're in a very, very bad situation!
----------
They're always in agreement.
----------
I have one childhood memory I especially like. It was of falling asleep on the counch and waking up in bed.
I really miss teleporting! It never happens to me any more.
----------
Why women live longer than men.....
----------
I went to the doctor today. He told me I was paranoid.
Well, he didn't actually say that in so many words. But I knew that's what he was thinking.
----------
Couldn't get Fred McMurray.
----------
I wonder. Do aliens lock their doors when they ride past earth?
----------
When we were kids, my brother shouted, "Last one to jump in the pool is gay!" Then he jumped in.
I figured, if I never jumped in, he would be the last one in the pool.
He's still gay to this day.
----------
----------
Some days the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands!
----------
House goes liberal. Acosta the Accoster gets banned from the White House.
But the world moves on!
----------
When it comes to influencing elections, the Russians could learn a lot from the Democrats.
----------
----------
The only person who ever wanted me for who I am is the police.
----------
----------
If you lose one sense, the other senses are enhanced.
Which is why people with no sense of humor have a heightened sense of self-importance.
----------
----------
I hate when I run on the treadmill for a half hour and look down to see it's been 4 minutes.
----------
Satan worshipers crack me up!
Why would you worship a deity that literally lost a fiddle contest to some random hillbilly in Georgia?
