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    When everything’s coming your way, perhaps you’re going the wrong direction on the highway

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    sinister_midget
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    When everything’s coming your way, perhaps you’re going the wrong direction on the highway

    Post  sinister_midget on Mon Sep 17, 2018 5:54 pm

    This riddle concerns three little old ladies, a large bottle of Jack Daniel's (Black Label), and a baseball game. You get to be a detective.

    So here goes....

    The three little old ladies went to their very first baseball game. This was something that was an occasion of great excitement to them. To add to the excitement, they smuggled in a bottle of booze into the game, and started immediately to enhance the soft drinks they had bought.

    It was a good game.

    There was a lot of action on the field and a lot of action in the stands. All too soon though, long before the game was over, the bottle became rather empty.

    By now, you should have enough information to be able to figure out just how far along the game is, and what the status of the game is as well, namely, the inning and how many runners are on base.

    Have you figured it out yet? .................?...................?

    Answer at the bottom of this post.

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    Life can be cruel sometimes.



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    My wife said I needed to get in touch with my feminine side.

    So I crashed the car, burnt dinner and completely ignored her all night for no reason.

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    What has the world come to?



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    I may be a terrible person, but at least I say "please" and "thank you" and use my blinker.

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    Quick, Rahmbo, to the Vatmobile!



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    A vegan said to me, "People who sell meat are gross!"

    I replied, "People who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer."

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    News.



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    Serena Williams was so mad about losing the US Open that she's considering retirement.

    I hope if she does she goes back to acting. She was absolutely brilliant in The Green Mile.

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    Sometimes I gotta correct my behavior.



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    Why don't most feminists look very feminine?

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    Just another famous Einstein quote.



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    How many grammar Nazis does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Too.

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    So, Diane Feinstein decided to look into allegations made against Brett Kavanaugh from back when he was in high school.

    Doing a little research of my own, I located some records from when Diane was in high school.

    Is anybody able to interpret this for me?



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    I saw a study that was just released. They found women who carry a little extra weight generally live longer than the men who mention it.

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    Donald Trump, General Mattis, Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton are on an aircraft that is headed toward a crash.

    They're told they can parachute out, but there are only 3 parachutes.

    Bernie Sanders runs toward the emergency exit, grabs a chute, yells "I'm Bernie Sanders. Everybody gets a free parachute!" Then he jumps.

    Hillary Clinton jumps up, runs toward the door, grabs a chute and shouts, "I'm Hillary Clinton, the smartest woman in the world. I'm really the president of the United States!" Then she jumps.

    Trump looks at Mattis and says, "You go ahead, Jim. You're a war hero and you're more deserving of rescue."

    Mattis looks at Trump and smiles. "No sir. There are enough chutes for both of us. The smartest woman in the world just grabbed my backpack."

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    I remember watching this as a kid.



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    May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.

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    That was one busy sow I'd bet!



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    What do you call a fat psychic?

    A four-chin teller.

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    I wish Santa would publish his naughty list.

    What a great way to meet people!

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    Don't look now! It's Pearl, from Spongebob Squarepants!



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    I was at the top of the Empire State building the other day and there was this absolutely gorgeous girl over by the ledge.

    I went over, leaned toward her and said, "Baby, I wanna make all of your fantasies come true."

    She turned and whispered back, "Awwww that's so sweet. Try not to land on my car....."

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    Are we being invaded?



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    What do you call four priests and a pedophile?

    Five pedophiles.

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    Reminds me of the sensitivity sessions I've been through.

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    I was in a health store yesterday looking for some B complex. While the clerk was getting it for me, a guy down the counter was nattering on to another clerk about being a vegan.

    "Jesus, these vegan jerks never stop." I said to myself.

    I thought I was mumbling quietly, but apparently the clerk helping me heard it and got upset. He grabbed a bottle of high quality Omega 3 and threw it at me.

    But don't worry. I only suffered super fish oil injuries.

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    My son just got himself a new Cowasaki.



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    Facebook - Where every day is another depressing high school reunion.

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    In case Weiner-Holder doesn't pan out.



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    ANSWER TO THE RIDDLE: It's the bottom of the fifth, and the bags are loaded.


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    Psycho144

    Posts : 879
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 78

    Re: When everything’s coming your way, perhaps you’re going the wrong direction on the highway

    Post  Psycho144 on Wed Sep 19, 2018 11:58 am

    "snicker" Very Happy Very Happy bounce

      Current date/time is Mon Jan 21, 2019 3:09 pm